Whenever another comes to admonish us — whether their counsel proves to be well-founded or mistaken, or even when we have committed no wrong yet they have misunderstood our conduct and come to warn us nonetheless — let us look deeply into the heart of the one who admonishes, and reflect: “Were it not for love, they would not have spoken. It is precisely because they care that they have chosen to counsel.”
Whether the admonishment is mistaken or correct, let us look through to the intention within — and recognize that the one who offers counsel does so out of genuine care and affection for us. Therefore, let the first response always be one of gratitude. Only thereafter should one calmly and gently offer an explanation of one’s reasons and circumstances.
For should one respond with harsh or unwholesome words, those around us shall, in times to come, no longer dare to offer counsel — even in matters of the gravest danger, where one’s very life and welfare may be at stake, none shall venture to speak. This is a consequence to be guarded against with the utmost vigilance.
And even should one have offered a thorough and reasoned explanation, yet the other party remains unable to understand — one must still preserve one’s composure with grace, meet the moment with a gentle smile, and await a more suitable occasion to offer the explanation anew.
October 20th, 2019
